I used to hate on-leash walks with Riley.
Off leash she was great. She would stay by my side, ask permission to run after squirrels, ignore people and dogs. On leash, she was a nightmare. Pulling, lunging, reacting to every dog or person, and completely ignoring me. And it didn’t matter if she was on a short leash or a long line.
So, I avoided on leash walks whenever possible. It was simple when I lived in a house with a fenced yard and could play with her back there. I lived close to several locations where I could take her on long walks off leash with plenty of freedom and opportunities to play.
I will admit it, I took the easy way out. I didn’t think about it at the time. Walking was miserable and I had ways around it, so why do something that neither of us enjoyed when I didn’t have to? And we had other priorities in training, so I didn’t prioritize it.
Then, one day we were living in an apartment, and I didn’t have a car and we had to figure it out.
It was a lot of work.
I started out by recognizing she had no idea what “heel” meant and that I had unfair and unrealistic expectations. So, we started from scratch.
I took the time to decide what I wanted a heel to look like. I had a good picture of it in my head. And then, we practiced several times a day, every day. It was tedious and often frustrating, but we persisted and in the process I began to realize that I might be telling the wrong story about walks.
What if they could be adventures? What if they didn’t have to look a certain way? Was it possible that she and I could do something that worked for us? What if it didn’t matter what trainers on social media said a walk should look like?
These questions allowed me to set everything else aside and gave me the freedom to ask what Riley and I needed; what would bring us joy and fulfillment. And, if I could say this to every dog owner I would – it’s okay to define what you want and need in the context of your life and who you and your dog are together and do that.
Today things are different.
I don’t dread going outside with Riley. I look forward to it, and the times I don’t look forward to it, we make it short and easy.
Riley has days she’s great on leash, and days she’s reactive. She can have a good morning and then a rough afternoon, or the other way around. But now, we take it one moment, one outing at a time. I stopped expecting perfection – from both of us. I stopped expecting every walk to look the same and started letting each one be whatever we needed it to be.
This change allowed me to breathe, relax, and start to focus on our relationship instead of what I thought a walk, or anything else we did, should look like – and that changed everything.
Here’s the thing, and I’ll likely drive it home again and again on this site: You are unique. Your dog is unique. Your life is unique. And it is okay for your relationship with your dog to fit your needs and your life. Your walks don’t have to look like everyone else’s. Your playtime doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. What matters is the health and well-being of you and your dog. Sure, there are basic foundational things that are valuable but how you use those skills and apply them in your life is completely individual and there is a lot of freedom in that.
Don’t let the “influencers” on social media rob you of the joy of enjoying your dog in the context of your own life. Breathe and discover what works for you. Sometimes that takes time and a lot of trial and error but it’s worth it.
